She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
handjob tips. give me some.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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