This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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