I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
