And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize