Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
