you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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