hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
