This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
