good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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