Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
