You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
