Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
