so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
