Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
