I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
