4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
