After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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