Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
