Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
