ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
