Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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