How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
