I will die if light touches me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
