I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He shit in the fireplace
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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