At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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