My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have fence marks all over my body
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
