before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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