If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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