where am i from again
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
