Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
