I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This house was built for laser tag.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
