I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She's the barista slut.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
