my mouth tastes like poor choices
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
