it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
