i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
