We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
