I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
