Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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