Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Sponge bath it is.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
