Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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