i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
