Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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