when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
