I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
