If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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