ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm too high and old for this...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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