Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I wish I only lived at night.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
