We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it's great music for shaving your balls
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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