Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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