I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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