your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
