Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
